A True Ghost Story:
Last night, like every night I crashed around 1:30 in the morning. I had been writing trying to meet a deadline. I nearly fell asleep at my keyboard; a sign indicating that it was time to go to bed. A sign which I usually ignore.
Malia and Jaida had gone to their dad’s house, so Sophie was sleeping in our bed next to Tammy.
That’s somewhat misleading. The truth is Sophie always sleeps in our bed; whether or not Malia and Jaida are here. That’s just the way it is in a family where a precocious 5 year calls the shots.
No, not on the bed— at the foot of the bed...on the floor. I have a light blue comforter that goes under me and a sheet that I use to cover myself. The good news is that I have 2 maybe 3 pillows that I get to use. The bad news is, I sleep on the floor. Yes, even on Valentine’s Day.
But that’s a whole other story.
Right now I am beat, pooped, exhausted and have decided to not ignore these signs. I am fumbling my way into our room and am relieved to find that there is room on my side of the bed. Tammy is fast asleep on her side, Sophie is in the middle and actually more towards Tammy’s side. So yeah, there is plenty of room for me to crash.
I lay down, instantly falling from reality and very soon I’m going to be in a REM-like sleep. I am bordering between LaLa land and out-like- a-light, at a place where I think that my thoughts are making sense but if I were to analyze them I could see a muddled mess of broken, scattered thoughts making no more sense than a Fellini Film. But I am exhausted; there is no analyzing anything. I have drifted beyond the point of no return.
I am on my side and close to the edge of the bed and facing halfway between Sophie on the bed and the ceiling. My back is slightly turned from my side of the bed. My right arm is tucked under Sophie’s pillow. As I am recalling last night, at this point am out but not quite dreaming.
Somewhere, in my semi-consciousness I feel the presence of someone or something. The sensation of this “presence” is followed by a sudden deep chill. But I am just so flipping tired that I simply pull the covers over my shoulders and ignore it.
Or try to.
But then it -- the presence-- decides it wants to sit or kneel on the bed next to me. Okay, now I am a little concerned. I opened my eyes but I see nothing over my left shoulder. Still, I could feel the weight of it behind me as this...ghost... places itself on our bed. There is something there.
What the heck!
I feel my side of the bed lower with the weight of this apparition. I don’t stop to think that a paranormal presence probably carries no measurable weight to speak of. Remember, I am still half asleep.
Out of the corner of my eye I still see nothing. But more weight is being placed on the bed right next to me. I feel it! My body is starting to roll towards it.
I look again. Nothing.
Wait. What the?
I see...something... I think.
This time I see what looks like a huge transparent, rectangular sponge. Its surface resembles a liquidly soap bubble but it definitely had some human like structure. It reminded me of the translucent creature in the movie Predator but without any definitive features. Just a blob. It was just a like a rectangular blob with its knees on my bed. Interrupting some damn good sleep.
Thinking I had no choice but to act quickly and then make enough noise so that Tammy could both witness this unbelievable event and at the same time grab Sophie and make a quick get-a-away.
Who ya gonna call? Nobody. I got this!
I reached around and grabbed the ghost by what I would presume to be its shoulders and pulled it down between me and Sophie. It fought back and I tightened my grip.
“I got the ghost! I got the ghost! Do you see it?” I remember yelling out.
I had Casper in a death grip! I pulled it close to me against my upper body and it covered my face. Tammy later explained it like this after the poltergeist had left, “All I heard was you mumbling something in your sleep. Like you were talking with something in your mouth. I couldn’t understand what you were saying,”
“Honey, I was trying to tell you that I had the ghost... I got the ghost...and asking you if you could see the ghost.” I tried to explained. “I got the ghost. I got the ghost. Can you see the ghost? Can you see the ghost?” My eyes wide open, pleading, begging her to be on the same page.
“I’m sorry, I had no idea what you were saying.” She really did seem apologetic, but she also sounded like she wanted to laugh. To keep from doing so, she reasoned, “Maybe when you grabbed the ghost and pulled it down towards you, it was against your mouth and that’s why I couldn’t understand you.”
I had pulled the ghost close to me to where it was practically on top of me. That made sense to me.
“I probably was mumbling!" I agreed. "The ghost was against my face."
Tammy was nodding in agreement. That scenario would explain why she was not able to understand me.
"But did you see anything?” I asked.
Tammy snorted her answer, “No.”
I couldn’t believe it. There’s no way I was dreaming the whole thing. No way!
“Didn’t you see how I was holding my left arm up in the air like this?” I tried to convince her, get her to acknowledge that there had been a ghost. “I had ...”
Tammy was shaking her head before I even finished my last sentence, “uh, No.”
“Honey, I had my arm up like this,” I showed her how I had my arm positioned in the air with the ghost in a death grip.
“Your arm was down by your side,” Tammy said as she begun to fluff her pillow, seemingly unimpressed.
“I was saying, ‘do you see the ghost? Do you see the ghost?’” I said thinking how her attention, like the ghost, was slipping away.
“Sorry honey. You were mumbling and you had your eyes closed.”
Tammy lays her head back down again. Apparently sleep sounds better than my ghost story. I guess I should have told her the ghost looked like Patrick Swayze.
She is facing away from me and Sophie. I am up on my elbows looking around the room. Within minutes I could hear her even breathing; a sign my wife has fallen back asleep.
I lay there quietly going over the events in my head, looking around the room. My mind is still racing. How can she sleep? I can’t believe I held a ghost in my arms. I had the thing too. Is there really such thing as a Ghostbuster’s trap? I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost. What if it was Patrick Swayze?
Oh Gawd. Okay, I got to try to get some sleep.
My eyes weren’t having any of that though, they were stuck wide open.
I laid down but was not going back to sleep. From time to time I would scan the room for movement or anything out of the ordinary.
I decided there was too much crap in our room. Our dresser looks like there’s a body resting on it. The pig head shaped humidifier that emits air out of its sharp ears doesn’t help. It looks scary in the dark.
Over there in the corner sits a miniature person sitting rolled up in a fetal position where a bag of our clothes sat earlier.
The room is quiet. I am glad Sophie slept through the entire ordeal. My wife continues to breathe evenly, quietly. She startles me when she speaks up without turning around.
“Honey,” she says to me in a voice half asleep, “next time you see a ghost, don’t grab it.”
Okay, I am thinking. Thanks a lot. When I pause to think about it, that actually makes sense. I make a mental note to never do that again. Do not grab ghost. It could be dangerous.
But what do I do, I wonder.
As if she heard my thoughts, Tammy says, “Next time, just ask it what it wants.”